hannasch

01:38 am: brian kinney
The Fickle One
~ Pablo Neruda

Parrish


My eyes went away from me
following a dark girl who went by.

She was made of black mother-of-pearl
made of dark-purple grapes,
and she lashed my blood
with her tail of fire.

After them all
I go.

A pale blonde went by
like a golden plant
swaying her gifts.
And my mouth went
like a wave
discharging on her breast
lightningbolts of blood.

After them all
I go.

But to you, without my moving,
without seeing you, distant you,
go my blood and my kisses,
my dark one and my fair one,
my broad one and my slender one,
my ugly one, my beauty,
made of all the gold
and of all the silver,
made of all the wheat
and of all the earth,
made of all the water
of sea waves,
made for my arms
made for my kisses,
made for my soul.

07:17 am: STOLEN MEME FRON ARLAD
if i were a day of the week, i would be: FRIDAY
if i were a time of day, I WOULD BE SOMETIMES AFTER MIDNIGHT, I WOULD BE ALONE
if i were a planet, i would be: SATURN, I LIKE RINGS
if i were a sea animal, i would be: A WHALE
if i were a direction, i would be: EAST
if i were a piece of furniture, i would be: A SOFA
if i were a sin, i would be: ARROGANZ
if i were a historical figure, i would be: MOZART
if i were a liquid, i would be: COFFEE
if i were a stone, i would be: A DIAMANT
if i were a tree, i would be: A WEEPING WILLOW
if i were a bird, i would be: A ROBIN
if i were a tool, i would be: A HAMMER
if i were a flower/plant, i would be: A YELLOW LILY
if i were a kind of weather, i would be: A RAINY DAY IN SUMMER
if i were a mythical creature, i would be: ACHILL
if i were a musical instrument, i would be: A SAXOPHONE
if i were an animal, i would be: AN ELEPHANT
if i were a colour, i would be: RED
if i were a vegetable, i would be: A POTATOE
if i were a sound, i would be: BABY LAUGHTER
if i were an element, i would be: OXYGEN
if i were a car, i would be: A MINI
if i were a song, i would be: I CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT RIGHT TODAY BY JOE PURDY
if i were a movie, i would be directed by: FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT
if i were a book, i would be written by: HEINRICH VON KLEIST
if i were a food, i would be: BREAD
if i were a place, i would be: BERLIN
if i were a material, i would be: COTTON
if i were a taste, i would be: BITTERSWEET
if i were a scent, i would be: THEATERS BEHIND THE SCENES
if i were a religion, i would be: NONE
if i were a word, i would be: GRACE
if i were an object, i would be: A GLOBE
if i were a body part, i would be: EYES
if i were a facial expression, i would be: A GRIN
if i were a subject in school, i would be: ENGLISH
if i were a cartoon character, i would be: SNOOPY
if i were a shape, i would be: A GLOBE
if i were a number, i would be: THREE

06:05 am: ARLAD
1. name:JOHANNA
2. birthday:LONG TIME AGO 1958
3. place of residence:TORONTO AND BERLIN
4. what makes you happy: LOVE
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:MOZART REQUIEM
7. what is particularly good/bad about my lj:DON'T KNOW, WRITE MORE STORIES!
8. an interesting fact about you: I AM A REALLY GOOD DRAMA TEACHER
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:SADLY ENOUGH, NO
10. favourite place to be:NEW YORK AND A LAKE NOT FAR FROM BERLIN IN GERMANY
11. favourite lyric:I CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT RIGHT TODAY (JOE PURDY)
12. best time of the year:SUMMER, SPRING, FALL, WINTER (IF THERE IS SNOW)
13. weirdest food you like: LEBERWURST (A VERY GERMAN THING)

recomend
1. a film:BLADE RUNNER (DIRECTOR'S CUT)
2. a book:ANN MARIE MCDONALD WHERE THE CROW FLIES
3. a song:LITTLE GIRL BLUE NINA SIMONE
4: a band:COUNTING CROWS

plus
1. one thing you like about me:YOUR WAY OF WRITING
2. two things you like about yourself:I LIKE PEOPLE, A VARIETY OF PEOPLE, I AM RELAXED (MOST OF THE TIME)
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.
4. post a picture of you!

06:29 am: I have a good life. But sometimes I feel fucking lonely.

02:27 am: I got a rose today from someone I do not know. And even though it was a virtual rose it smelled fresh and sweet. Thank You!

09:40 am: time
Sorry that I didn't write for such a long time. But with packing my stuff for Canada and getting all my papers in order and finishing work here, I just couldn't. When there was time I read fiction on lj. Did You see Saneas new fic? It is a 10 or twelve chapter work in progress and really good.
Thank You Gaeln for reminding me.
I will start again, I promise.

01:14 pm: Rahel The Nurse
# Minor Character Challenge
Season 4
If they were on sale I would try and buy them, but until then...

Rahel, the nurse:
I work at this place for 30 years now and have treated maybe 5000 patients in that time. He was the quietest of them all. “Goodmorning” or whatever the time of day warranted, “See You on Thursday.” or Monday, if that was the case. No smalltalk, no complaints, not even a sigh. Six weeks of radiation treatments and that was it. He got pale and thin, they all do, but still very beautiful, always impeccably dressed and he always came alone. 
Then in the seventh week a young man accompanied him. He still didn’t talk, but I saw them holding hands in the waiting room.

Tags: qaf

01:13 pm: The trick with no name
#5 Minor Character Challenge
Any Season after three
No Ownership implied

My name is ... 

I am the trick that did not stay, actually he threw me out before my come had time to get dry. 
Jesus, he was beautiful. Normally I don’t just follow when somebody grabs my ass. God, he was sexy. Normally I do not go home with strangers. He smelled like dirty heaven. He didn’t talk, didn’t kiss, he fucked. It was cockblowingly good and heartsickening terrible. My body never felt so good, my soul never so lonely.

Tags: qaf

01:12 pm: I’m not dead, I’m in Pittsburgh
#4
No, I do not own anything that has been on tv anytime
The c. goes to B.

I’m not dead, I’m in Pittsburgh. (Frank Black)

They say I let him go. What a strange concept. He was never mine to keep. Possession has nothing to do with any of it, I own a fucking house to prove it. Not one of my better ideas. 
It is true - I love him. (There - I said it. Again.) And he loves me - in New York or even in fucking Timbuktu. And there is hope for a happyeverafter, but never certainty. 
How could there be? But that’s allright. There is love and there is hope. So - I’m not dead, I’m in Pittsburgh.

Tags: qaf

01:12 pm: I’m not in love
I’m not in love, so don’t forget it.
Independence is the only thing worthy of love. I guard it closely, keep it from harm, fight for it with my life if necessary. Without it I am nothing. Again. Big boys don’t cry. Never again! Ooh, I like to see you, but then again, that doesn’t mean you mean that much to me. 
Because You, bright, strong and soft and everything inbetween, You are dangerous to me, You threaten my most precious posession, my one true love.
You’ll wait a long time for me.
I’m not in love, I’m not in love...

Tags: qaf

01:11 pm: I need your lovin’ like the sunshine. Everybody’s gotta learn sometime. (Beck)
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 
Alone again! Of the fifty ways to be left by Your lover this must be the hardest. Fucking New York nothing compares to that city, and nobody. Love really hurts without You, the only living boy in New York. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, the groom is still waiting at the altar, that should be the worst joke ever. There just ain’t no sunshine since You’ve been gone. Now in the dead of winter under stormy clouds I have to teach myself the fine art of falling apart, laughing on the outside. Everybody’s gotta learn sometime.


Tags: qaf

01:10 pm: 
He wished he could be like a machine. Perfect. Functional. The best. In everything: in advertising, while fucking, when being brutally honest to his friends. Never wavering or stumbeling.
The right amount of preparation and hard work secure the perfect score, be it the pitch for a new campaign or the seduction of the new and soon to be forgotten trick or even his carefully organized relationships with his friends. 
He hates mistakes, mediocrity, insecurity with burning fervour.
Only this way he can stay true to the often repeated “No apologies. No regrets” policy of his. Only this way he never has to feel helpless again.
But... 

Weaknesses
You did have none
I had one
I loved.
B. Brecht

Tags: qaf

12:34 pm: #6 Challenge
Post Season 5
I am not really sure what I would do with them, if I had them

What could You give someone like him for his fiftieth bithday?
Selfabusing, ambitious, hard-working and -playing, a candle burning at both ends with a bright flickering FLAME, he wouldn’t make it to seventy.
Intensely private to the point of arrogance he woud hate any kind of grand gathering with family and friends , presents given wrapped in gaudy paper and sentimental memories SHOUTed across the food-laden TABLE.
So You gave him a day of silence. Kisses and touches, fucking and massaging, tranqility and arousal. You gave him Your love, it was what he wished for.

Tags: qaf

11:09 pm: St.Patrick
When Irish eyes are smiling,
Tis like a morn in spring.
With a lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world is bright and gay
When Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, they steal your heart away.

Yes, he was used to his nickname by now, even though it made strangers grin when they heard it -
small wonder him being 35 by now. Yes, he had dozens of cd's, made specially for him by people who thought they had a wicked sense of humour, containing every song ever written with THE WORD in it. Yes, his hair was still that blond and his smile as wide and true.
But his unsentimental, bullshit-hating, pun-loving boyfriend, lover, whatever could to this day bring him to his knees (pun intended) with a smile that never reached his mouth, but turned hazel eyes into pools of the darkest green. Thank God, Ireland and St.Patrick for what that smile promised.

Tags: qaf

10:08 pm: shortbus
Saw a movie today : “Shortbus”.
It was directed by J. Cameron Mitchell and was advertised as nearly “pornographic”. Rubbish! It is just wonderful and humanistic and as desperate, as we all are.
Go get it, watch it, be touched, not shocked.

Tags: qaf

05:58 pm: drabble
# Minor character challenge
Any season
No ownership implied


My name is ...

I am the trick that did not stay, actually he threw me out before my come had time to get dry.
Jesus, he was beautiful. Normally I don’t just follow when somebody grabs my ass. God, he was sexy. Normally I do not go home with strangers. He smelled like dirty heaven. He didn’t talk, didn’t kiss, he fucked. It was mindblowingly good and heartsickening terrible. My body never felt so good, my soul never so used.

Tags: qaf

01:02 pm: picture
I am re-posting it here, because I was told bjfic does not allow this kinf of thing. Why? Only because Justin is not in it?

last season of the year 1499
no, no, no I do not own any piece of anybody

(If the Renaissance had been his time, painters would have fought over him.)
Rome, the New Years Eve of 1499.
One of those small squares overshadowed by a cathedral. The inhabitants of the palazzos surrounding it, still half asleep, are getting the show of their lifes. Michelangelo and Leonardo and Boticelli in a brawl.
Punches are dealt and received. Kicking is taken place, and, naturally, considering that all of them are Italian, a lot of swearing and shouting is going on. Leonardo may be the oldest of the three but in a fight he is still a power to be reckoned with, Michelangelo has a real cruel left. But in the end Boticelli will be the one with the strongest stamina. Disheveled and breathless the other two grudgingly accept his victory. The onlookers cheer and go back to their beds. What a wonderfull tale to tell tomorrow morning.
The man they fought over, hazeleyed and quiet, lazily follows the winner to his studio. Boticelli pays his models well. It’s a job like any other. He has to eat.
The prize of this fight, caught on canvas, Saint Sebastian, beautiful martyr, bleeding from many wounds, still looking arrogant near death and utterly lonely, will haunt Boticelli till his dying day. He won him, he painted him, but he could not keep him.

The picture can be found on Wikipedia, art, painting, renaissance, boticelli, saint sabastian
or in my gallery, it is called hannasch. I do not know how to link it, sorry. But it is a beautiful picture. Amazing and wonderful.

Tags: qaf

10:34 pm: qaf challenge
So asked to take part in my first fiction challenge and now I am having a panic attack.
Actually that is all I wanted to say at the moment.

Tags: qaf

02:10 am: I'm not dead, I'm in Pittsburgh
Post 513 or so

I don't want you to worry, I'm okay
Just didn't want you seeing me this way
We tried to talk about it but we didn't understand
We never really talked much anyway

I finally found a place to call my own
A place where all good sinners can get stoned
I'll keep my holy vision, you keep your stupid pride
You said I couldn't make it on my own

But I'm not dead (I'm in Pittsburgh)
And now I can't get out of town
But I'm not dead (I'm in Pittsburgh)
They've got me all strung, come cut me down

Like the weeds in all the cracks
All my memories come back
Like some Alleghenny smack in the face

It's all just one big monkey house to me
Just living ain't the same as being free
Don't stop and think about it
It'll only make you sad
Come put me out of my misery

'Cause I'm not dead (I'm in Pittsburgh)
Where a man can loes his mind
I'm not dead (I'm in Pittsburgh)
They've got me suited up for crazy time

I'm not dead (I'm in Pittsburgh)
And now I can't get out of town
Hey I'm not dead (I'm in Pittsburgh)

the song is by frank black. it fits, doesn't it?

Tags: qaf

06:55 pm: poem
God is indeed a jealous God -
He cannot bear to see
That we had rather not with Him
But with each bother play.

Emily Dickinson

Tags: qaf